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In a startling number of stories, most of these people had some, if not a lot of reservations about the very person that was fast-forwarding them.And let’s be real, it is flattering when someone seems to fancy the arse off us so much that they can’t seem to want to stop ripping off our clothes or saying we’re the best thing since sliced bread.Of course when they disappear or they replace ‘the model’ you got with a pared down version, you will wonder what was wrong with you to cause the loss of adoration.While it is very flattering when someone says they love you immediately or makes you the centre of their universe immediately, the fact of the matter is that they don’t know you enough to be sincere about it. I’m not saying that you’re not a wonderful person, but aren’t we giving ourselves and them too much credit by believing that our libido, powers of judgement and observation and awareness of our own values are so powerful that we can tell immediately based on looks, sexual chemistry, penis size, words etc that we (or they) love someone? Well, we don’t like to appear to be spoil sports, many of us are not aware of the perils of red flags, and we second guess ourselves.Dating is a fact finding period where you should be discovering ‘facts’ that let you work out whether you can proceed, or whether you should be cautious, and/or abort the mission.

Positive things increase your trust, dodgy stuff should have you rolling back and assessing the risk.

If you have Fast-Forwarding habits, it’s a good time to address your beliefs and attitudes about dating because you’re setting yourself up for failure.

In fact, I’d ask yourself how serious you are about finding a relationship because exerting this type of pressure so early on in the relationship not only tests the people out to see if they can meet your emotional demands, but a lot of the behaviour in Fast-Forwarded Relationships is quite unhealthy.

They either disappear when they start to feel panicky about the fact that you will want, need, and expect in line with the great show they have been putting on.

Or…they just revert to the ‘real them’, ripping the rug from under your feet and replacing hot with cold and someone who you barely recognise. People who engage in Fast-Forwarding are Future Fakers, whether they directly do it by talking up a storm about plans or do it indirectly by behaving so intensely and putting so many demands on you (emotional, sexual, wanting to be with you all the time), that they let you believe that the level of intensity you are experiencing is what is on offer.




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In the Vanity Fair article, David Buss, a University of Texas psychology professor, says that apps like Tinder contribute to “a perceived surplus of women,” among straight men, which in turn leads to more hookups and fewer traditional relationships.