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Relationship anarchy is one of the (roughly) four types of polyamory.

It can also refer to a type of monogamy, but we are going to focus on the polyamorous relationship anarchy.

People within the relationships dictate how they want the relationships to look.

Therefore, each and every RA relationship is going to look different.

Basically, relationship anarchy means that only the people within the relationship dictate what they want that relationship to look like.

Societal norms for relationships are questioned and often discarded.

Often a lot of rules for dating focus on protecting the existing relationship at the expense of all other relationships and everyone else’s wellbeing. One of the focuses of many people’s relationship anarchy is eliminating couple privilege.

Many of the rules that are created out of couple’s privilege dictate relationships outside their own.

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I think on average I value friendship and nonromantic parts of relationships more than most people.

It wouldn’t be true to say “there is no wrong way to do relationship anarchy.” It would be wrong to not communicate about this being your relationship style or be honest throughout any and all relationships.

In nonmonogamous relationships, an existing marriage or relationship often is rewarded certain privileges.

But even within non-monogamous circles, relationship anarchy is still a relatively new idea. In short, relationship anarchy is the practice of relationships with no formal rules aside from those agreed upon between the individual practitioners.

In fact I myself–though aside from a period of monogamy I have been practicing it for years–had never heard the term until a few months ago. I’ve been using the Wikipedia page, but I decided that was lame and I’d rather have something cool like, say, a sweet-ass feminism blog to send them to. It is generally understood to fall under the category of non-monogamy and can, at times, fall under the category of polyamory–but it’s sort of a “square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not necessarily a square” situation. If you have an online dating profile, put something about it in your description.

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