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Marshall, a student at the University of Michigan, tells us how he feels about desperate collegiettes.“We were hook-up buddies, I thought I had the perfect thing set up and then one night she just broke down crying asking to date me and then called and texted, making it painfully obvious she was struggling to make something more out of it than what was there which made her so much more unattractive.” Lesson learned: If you’re just hook-up buddies, that could be all you are.This may not seem like a problem to some women, but for me it is.When I am dating, I like to really take my time and get to know someone before I put any “name” on what we’re doing.Don’t assume every encounter you have with a guy has the potential to turn into a real relationship. I knew I shouldn’t cross the professional boundaries, but for some reason I thought it was okay to drunkenly call and text him asking him to come over.I would also see him at the bar all the time and asked him to walk me home once. Now he thinks I’m crazy,” says Christina*, a collegiette at Michigan State University.

I’m a divorced mother with two young children, but I am not looking for someone to “rescue” me.

Maybe you never get excited and let down your guard. It would be a shame if a man distanced himself from you precisely BECAUSE you said you liked him. You keep finding guys who are ready to take the plunge, you dazzle them on a date or two, and you listen to them start gabbing about rings and honeymoons. When someone makes himself too accessible, too willing to jump into a relationship, we question him. At the end of the night, she said to me, “I’m glad to have you in my life”.

That has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. We wonder how anyone could like us this much this soon. But when we’re crazy about someone and show it, we want that person to reciprocate. We’d had fun, but after three hours, I wasn’t yet “in her life”. I told her that I thought she was great, but that she might want to hold back on the big proclamations until we get to know each other better.

Are these men just so desperate that they don’t understand the fundamentals of dating? I’m sure all the women who are waiting by the phone for their dates to call are feeling particularly bad for you. It wouldn’t be too unreasonable for you to get excited about him being the future father of your children.

I kid, Leah, because it’s about as ironic as any dating situation can be. Of course, if he’s already a father of two, and also recently divorced, he might not be ready to dive back into a committed relationship. That’s simply two good people who may be compatible, but are not a good fit at the time.

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