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Take it from a girl who gets around, who has an adult lifetime of naked data: Men who dumped me hard always thought they were much better in bed than they really were.There are 50 awful ways to leave a lover, and the lovers to go with them—and I’ve slept with them all: meltdown men, ghosts, martyrs, take-another-girl-to-Paris-whoops-that’s-not-OK? Without exception, men who left incompetently were mediocre when they came. Learn to do it the humane way, like putting down a pet—gently and with dignity, not with rocks and a pillowcase. Don’t stop taking her calls, ignore her texts and e-mails, defriend her, move to a new city, or enlist in the Navy.Someday you could be on the receiving end of a colossal heave-ho.As long as turnabout is foreplay, only ever dump her as you might wish to be dumped.Triple bonus: After taking the gentlemanly bow, you’ll actually be most of the way toward getting over her.If you can’t do the right thing—if you need to have the last word, sprint for the exit, or flagrantly foul out—she’s still under your skin.

Some don’t want to be single, or are worried about the impact of separation on their children.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that great lovers give excellent break-ups.

There’s a direct correlation between your bedroom dexterity and your communication skills.

(Then sent flowers—such a shit.) One of my exes cried about his ex-wife living with someone who wasn’t him. One of my exes kept everything I left behind until finally I swallowed my bile and requested their remittance. Return her camera to her in person alone, even if you’re busy and important and a coward. And, out of courtesy, avoid cross-contamination: Don’t start sleeping with your next girlfriend before you’ve appropriately disposed of the current one (again, Mr. If she thinks she’s going for a romantic meal and discovers she’s yesterday’s fish, you’re just being cruel. You’d rather dress your grandmother in a wetsuit than spend another night together, fine—but she doesn’t need to hear that. There’s a precise and efficient way to get out of Dodge without having a long, meaningful conversation about your horse.

Another whined about accidentally knocking up someone who wasn’t me. Cookbooks, slippers, and a toothbrush are not spoils of war. (OK, I’ve been guilty of mailing stuff back, too, even gifts, with no note at all. I’m so sorry, exes.) One boyfriend, a politico, went full My Lai on me as he bolted for the jungle. Breakups follow the Geneva Conventions: Tend to the wounded, even your enemies. Knocking it out right before you dump her is a disastrous choice. Journalist ex-boyfriend.) Asking for sex immediately after is worse (Mr. Never tell her you’re dead inside; instead, tell her three other true things. These golden words are gleaned from years of experience, so use the incantation wisely: “I don’t want to pursue this.” Note: Never say, “I don’t want to pursue you.” Simply “this,” which could be anything—a rodeo career, a Senate run, a pygmy-goat farm. The good break-up deserves all the kindness and compassion befitting a great romance.




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But if that doesn’t work for you *if you are another personality type*, then you might think they are trying to avoid you by not talking to you, and using reading as an escape mechanism. Because, let’s face it, there are rules when it comes to dating *like don’t cheat*. Once they get thirst for something, they have to delve deep into it so they can understand it completely and become a master on the subject. Again, that’s great for reaching goals and achieving things in life. #10 They don’t like gossip – or anything else uninteresting. INTJs are all about being deep, learning, and acquiring knowledge. Being so deep and smart can bring a sense of being “better” than other people. This can give other people the feeling that they are arrogant or judgmental. Remember when I said they don’t like rules or limitations? This might mean that they are an atheist or believe in some unknown political philosophy.


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