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However, because he is still with his wife, I have remained strong in my decision to walk away.

I eventually realized that John will NEVER leave his wife, but he still wanted me in his (however small it was---whether it was flirting, or being physical here and there) which is why he has continued to contact me/keep me close in his life.

8) If you and your married man are meant to be together, it will happen. I still struggle with this "dark side" of my life every day.

My honest and respected reputation at work would have been tarnished, and I would have been unjustly labeled as a "homewrecker"---even though John is the one who ruined his marriage, not me. If this doesn't occur within a few months - year MAX - it most likely will never happen.

However, one fact still remained: he was still with his wife, despite her continues moments of "kicking him out." I thought of walking away dozens of times..I told myself "just hold on a little longer..him time....he/I need more time." I mainly didn't want to walk away though because I didn't want face the hurt and devastation of losing a man I was in love with.

Finally, about 2 months ago, I told him I was tired of waiting, tired of the jealousy, tired of the hurt, and most of all, tired of being unhappy.

My life was a ROLLERCOASTER, but overall of was UNHAPPY, anxious, nervous and not fullfilled both emotionally, physically and psychologically.

Walking away was devastating, but I have to say that I am far LESS sad than I thought I would be.

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