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Here’s the hard and fast truth about virgins and virginity: it’s a completely cultural construct.When you strip away all of the value placed on sex and sexuality and look at it with an unemotional eye, virginity is a lack of a particular physical experience. I can’t count the number of letters I’ve gotten from virgin readers, men and women of just about every age who have not had sex yet and are desperately afraid that they’re “too late”.Some may have had physical intercourse with another person – oral sex, mutual masturbation, possibly even anal sex – but consider themselves virgins because they’ve never had penile/vaginal sex.To be a virgin is no different, ultimately, from never having eaten Chinese food or having been to Disneyland.In fact, you could reasonably equate the two; more often than not, you wait for too damn long for a thrill that’s over in under 3 minutes and half the time you’re wondering what the big deal was.but because he’s never managed to actually penetrate a woman, he’s still obsessed with “childish” things.

Anything you gain from sex was, ultimately, within you from the start.

For some, it’s a quest to lose our virginity the night of The Big School Event (Homecoming, Prom, Spring Formal, what-have-you) because it’s part of the modern high-school mythology that we’ve made up.

For others it’s trying to beat a particular date – our 18th or 21st birthdays, high-school or college graduation, before summer’s over, before getting married.

We are taught to measure a man’s value by the number of sex partners he’s had; the more women he’s seduced, the greater the value.

Wilt Chamberlin may have been a great basketball player, but he’s for his supposed number of conquests. Sure, he may have created one of the most iconic rock bands in history and written songs that continue to resonate with each generation of listeners… For them, sex is commodified as an equivalent to purity: the less sex she has had, the higher her value.




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