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It was a different world there: Size wasn’t so much of an issue, though there was a hierarchy, with the skinnier girls at the top.

I had a few boyfriends every summer, and when I got really thin, I suddenly had a boyfriend back at school, too. After that it was back to the old way, and I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. I was always overweight, but when I got to Vassar I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.

I didn’t gain a freshman 15, I gained a freshman 50.

It makes such an obvious statement—that no one would ever find me attractive because of my weight.*** I was on a date recently and a woman sat down at the next table, catty-corner to me. But what’s most visible about me, what defines me before I even open my mouth, is my size.I was embarrassed and annoyed, already contemplating how I was going to get out at the end. I’ve dieted my whole life and can’t remember a time when I wasn’t concerned about my weight.I grapple with the term because what’s the difference between a fetish and a preference?I once went out with a guy I met on Nerve, then didn’t hear from him again.




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Mika decided to get it and even went to Nina’s salon to get it done. She has cried over it while at work and this makes everyone uncomfortable.


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