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The author talks about the importance of having (using) friends as a means of meeting “the one,” but doesn’t discuss the importance of developing a friendship with a potential mate (Sharyn Wolf, 1998, pp. This book was written from the viewpoint of “what can I get” (self-gratification) from the other person, rather than “what can I give” to enrich another person’s life.In the Bible, wise King Solomon wrote, “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs ).It’s like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn’t sure that she wants the responsibility of holding your rope.” It is important to note that not all relationship books are created equal.Guerrilla Dating Tactics, for example, advises singles to learn tactics such as flirting maneuvers and pickup lines and to have a bag of tricks ready to use on that unsuspecting someone.Broken relationships and divorce are at an all-time high.Popular movies and television shows such as How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Friends do little to help couples strengthen their interactions with one another or make solid, well-informed premarital decisions.“You should have an absolute zero-tolerance policy when it comes to deception…[and] lying should have no place in your life” as it is a serious character flaw and should be treated as a “deal-breaker” (Henry Cloud and John Townsend, 2000, pp. Regarding today’s prevailing dating attitudes, a 35-year-old woman recently observed, “Girls do not look at a guy closely when making the choice to date.

Before we can understand and fulfill someone else’s needs, we must first have clearly defined who and what we are. If you don’t have yourself accurately portrayed, no way can you portray anyone else accurately, [and] the best way to do this is to take a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator () test” (David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates, Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types, 1978, pp. Here the authors are referring to our ability to successfully connect, communicate and get along with others different from ourselves.

Sexual intercourse before marriage is a clear act of commitment! She poignantly remarks, “Hook-ups and shack-ups have no depth, no promise, no attachment, no contentment, no meaning” (Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, 2001, p. I think it is safe to say that the accepted input from society is not creating the kind of happiness and fulfillment couples are seeking—rather, it is creating an inability to maintain healthy attachments later on within marriage.

Once you have become sexually involved with a potential mate, your ability to think clearly and objectively becomes impossible. As the book Understanding Family Communication (1998) points out, “The decision to marry is a prediction about how one person’s life with another person will evolve in the future based largely on how it has evolved in the past” (p. This is why it is so important to clearly understand the dynamics that have evolved within one’s own family system and how those attitudes and ways of thinking will affect a future marital partner.

and people have tried to redefine the family in all kinds of ways” yet without success, as the bitter fruits clearly show (Noel Hornor, “God’s Purpose for Sex and Marriage,” The Good News, July-August 2002, pp. Solomon warned, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death” (Proverbs Many use the excuse: “Everybody’s doing it, and besides, how can it be so wrong if it feels so right? But we need not look very far to see that sexual promiscuity comes with a very heavy price. Sharyn Wolf even admits that reality bites when she cautions, “Beware of believing yourself to be safe because of serial monogamy, that is, sleeping with one person at a time in sequential relationships.

According to a recent Good News magazine article, the physical/emotional results of “swimming downstream” speak for themselves: , genital herpes, chlamydia, venereal wart virus, cervical cancer, illegitimate children, abortion, sterility, not to mention the destruction of one’s self-esteem, obliteration of trust and feelings of abandonment, guilt and rejection (Noel Hornor, “Sex Outside of Marriage: What’s the Big Deal? You can end up with four or five serial monogamies per year, leaving yourself completely unprotected.” While she admits that remaining celibate is the safest way to date, she does nothing to discourage couples from engaging in such premarital acts of fornication, in essence saying, “Let’s see how far we can cross over the line without getting caught.” However, the Bible is very clear about this subject when it says, “For this is the will of God…

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