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Those who use phrases similar to “hoping to be friends first” are usually looking for fun rather than commitment, says Laurie Davis, founder and CEO of e Flirt Expert, and author of You can also weed out the casual sex seekers by looking at the context around your planned date: Is he willing to set up a date for a week or so later?

Meet for coffee or in a place where you can hear each other talk?

After two months, I invited him on a preplanned trip with friends, but he declined.

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After that, all communication from him died.” -Allison G., 26Expert take: Social media can create transparency and a false sense of familiarity, Kerner says.

Her take: “I went out with a guy I met online who seemed really sweet and charming. A few days later, he texts me to say that he isn't looking for a girlfriend—just casual sex.

I felt cheated and hurt.” -Andrea C., 31Expert take: Even if a guy doesn’t say straight out in his profile that he’s only looking for hook-ups, some will offer hints.

After a few dates with a guy, you feel like this could lead to something, when suddenly he falls off the face of the earth.

Or it’s been months—he’s even uttered the word “girlfriend”—and out of nowhere he says he’s not ready for a relationship.

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