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If your were a stamp, I'd lick your backside and send you to funkytown.

But in a good way." Hey babe would you come with me to the bakery because I want a cutie pie like you!

(Girl coming out of a bar): "Hi, I think I am gonna be the last guy to ask for your phone number today". I hear you like Bolts, well let me teach you how to screw "You've stolen my heart away. Do you know the best way to stop back pain and lose 20 pounds? Is your dad a lumber jack because every time I look at you i get a wood in my pants.

" Is your name Betty Crocker, cause your always making me rise.

"Smile if you want to sleep with me." (And watch them try to hold back their laugh.) "You see that door over there? Do you know Karate, cause I don't want you to kick me when I grab your ass. How about your red phosphorus coating and my short stick get together? I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.

How about you and I go into that darkroom over there and see what develops I must be allergic to nuts, but there's no way you are. 90% of my game is corny pick up lines and the other 10 is awkward stares I might not be Mormon, but I'm More Man that you've ever seen. "My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Are you a drug, cause I marijuana take you home with me tonight. Baby, you've bought yourself a cruise on the Love Boat.

You know babies come out of vaginas and it fucking stings, and that the vaginas are having a hard time anyway, what with all the waxing they get. You've called Donald Trump "a twat" for his sexist comments about a female news anchor being on her period. It's the 21st century and you are, most assuredly, not a dick. So, what I am going to do, instead, is tell you 12 things about women that women are usually too embarrassed to tell you themselves. It's the same as when you say the word "environment". Because remember that patriarchy's bumming you as hard as it's bumming us. You, meanwhile, are unable to talk about your feelings lest you get punched in the nuts by "a lad" telling you not to be "a bender". Being a woman doesn't make "being a woman" any easier. It's like having an exploding, insane blood-bag of pain up in your business end — nothing really prepares you for when it all kicks off. The next, you're suddenly having to wedge a tiny Barbie mattress in your knickers, crying while you watch , and eating Nurofen Plus like they're Tic Tacs. Have you ever tried to scrub blood out of a Premier Inn sheet at 6am, using just travel shampoo and your toothbrush?

You know the pay disparity; still 20 per cent less for women in this country, and not a single prosecution, even though it's literally illegal. Ugh.")You've seen Amy Schumer's brilliant, edgy sketches on contraception and rape, and laughed along with them. You don't need Tits Mc Gee here to take you through it one more time. No mumbling Like you, we feel a bit embarrassed about saying the word "feminism". " chats, we're just identifying the general locus of the problem, ie, most of the power and influence being held by a small amount of men. I can't emphasise enough how much it's not about burning penises. Periods We're still pretty traumatised about our periods, even though we're now 40. We're just people with a whole load more laundry issues than you.

" Girl, you know you can't resist....cankles like these.

I heard you like bonfires, well I'll supply the wood. Hey are you a window cause I can see right through them clothes. (arm around her with hand on other sholder) "Are you here alone, or will someone have to retain your affections over my dead body?

If you were a Pirate would your parrot be on this sholder (hand on closer sholder) or this sholder?

I have the "I", I have the "L", I have the "O", I have the "V", I have the "E", so, can I have "U"? Would you like a gin and platonic or a Scotch and sofa? (if no) Good because I'd get real sad once that fire goes out.

Did I tell you I'm filthy rich and my mother's dead? People say I remind them of a cute teddy bear; I weigh 300 pounds, I'm really hairy, and I sleep all winter. Just because I buy my underwear in the extra-large equator size doesn't mean I'm overweight does it?

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when I like she pushes me away after first orgasm she says she cant tolerate, but i see women getting licked for hrs PM sushma: Basicaly i had normal delivery so my thing got bit loose so we startd to do this thing IM 8 Nov, 2012 PM PM sushma: Hmm i love and enjy it like hell being licked PM Raj: my wife both caesarian her thing is still tight like a virgin for few days we struggle PM sushma: Oh k PM Raj: when getting licked, how much time u feel is ok when do feel enough PM sushma: Till i get tierd,i let him continue even organsm aftr orgasm PM Raj: how lucky both of u.

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They are not interested which is why they don't respond back . I unintentionally punned when I said "mother of all" and yes I mentioned his renting from his mother.6. he said that I was aggresive and that I should impress him. Please understand I don't have the time or wanting to sit at a computer all the time. The very first time a guy calls you a female dog, or uses any impolite language, just block him.

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