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Instead of glossing over that fact on your first date, own it.

You don’t have to discuss the dirty details of your failed marriage if you don’t want to (and it’s probably best not to on the first few dates), but you should at least be forthcoming about it.

“You are older, your body may be a little (or a lot) different than it was the last time you were dating, you may have ‘baggage’ (exes, children, etc.)—and so will the men you will be dating.

For many people (myself included) getting used to your new reality, what I now call ‘acclimatizing,’ can take some time.

Not only had I not dated in nine years, the world of dating had changed dramatically.

Instead of going to a bar, a coffee shop or a restaurant and organically meeting someone interesting, the dating of today is all at the tip of your fingers.

Plus, you need time to just “be” and find yourself again, and the best way to do that is not by finding another person to love you, it’s simply by giving yourself the time to love yourself again.

“Finding yourself single and dating again after a divorce will require you getting used to your ‘new reality,’” says Natalia Juarez, a Breakup Coach and Dating Strategist.

The loss of a marriage is just as devastating (if not more) than the death of a loved one, so give yourself ample time to mourn the death of the relationship.

Not only that, divorce doesn’t necessarily boost your self confidence, so all of those feelings of inadequacy you’ve been fighting off immediately come to the surface as soon as the guy you’ve been chatting with ghosts you or you realize the other guy just wanted casual sex.

Those moments aside, dating is one of the best ways (in my opinion) for you to get over the pain and the hurt of a divorce.

“Mourn the loss of your marriage and allow yourself to cry, scream, get mad, or whatever you want to do. If you do, it will only resurface years later, at a weird time and them you will have to reprocess it in a healthy manner,” Shannon Somers, a recent divorcee, told me.

You don’t want to start a new relationship on a lie, and in today’s digital age, there’s a good chance they’ll find out as soon as they Google-stalk your Facebook profile. Don’t Take it Too Seriously It’s natural to want to jump into a new relationship after a divorce, especially if you were with your ex for a long period of time.

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