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We don’t get mad at each other if something happens that feels uncomfortable as long as it’s not a violation of an existing rule; we learn from it, and make a new rule.Rule 1: This was the first rule we made up: This is our primary relationship.We were both always aware of the existence of other lovers, but it was clear that we were each other's favorite.It occurred to us that we could keep the excitement and variety, and still let ourselves fall in love with each other. And since then I’ve gotten a lot of questions about how we make it work and why we would even do that in the first place.The great thing is, once you’ve decided that you can include other people or lovers into your relationship, you can make it whatever you want.

Beyond that, each pair or group determines their own limits and guidelines. ____ A study described in Psychology Today in 2014 found that between 23 and 40 percent of men and 11-22 percent of women are curious to try it.

And lest you think we’re a small subculture of free-love weirdos, research over the last several years estimates that 4-5 percent of relationships in the U. Many people feel that having a relationship or sex with only one person for an indefinite amount of time is too difficult and unnatural. For most of my life I was a serial monogamist and constantly cheating.

In fact, I only had one successful monogamous relationship. (And everybody gets laid.)A lot of non-monogamous couples joke that they spend more time talking about it than they do getting any. I'm not saying monogamy is impossible, or improbable.

They also welcome multitudes into their bed for great big orgies.

Adam and I keep our lovers separate (more on that later).




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