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And then it hit me: I’m just “putting in time” now, waiting for something better to happen in life. Most people don’t recognize these “harmless” routines they may have fallen into, so they go about their lives as if nothing bad is happening.

If that’s not wasting my life, I don’t know what is. But these routines are lethal in their tendency to waste lives if left unchecked.

The same people who tend to see anger in terms of extremes sometimes have difficulty recognizing when they are experiencing intermediate anger states.

Luckily, most people experience a number of physical, emotional and behavioral cues that they can use to let them know when they are becoming upset.

In reality, anger is not black and white, but rather quite gray.

Anger occurs on a continuum between rage and calm where most of the time people experience some gradation of anger between these two extremes.

So you can’t help but wonder: “Is this all there is to look forward to in life? But over time, that innocent little thought starts nagging — starts making you doubt what you’re doing in life. They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. You’re not quite sure what will set them off, but you are afraid that something you do is going to make them lose their temper… You might think that the Bears are the best football team–your partner will convince you that you are stupid for thinking so because they suck. They might talk about cheating on an old partner, or be proud of their reputation. You might want to go to the movies–your partner will make sure you go out to dinner instead. He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them.Recognizing Physiological Signs of Anger The first step in effective anger management is to learn how to recognize when you are angry.Some angry people see their emotions as a black or white state—they are either raging mad or they are calm.




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