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left for you by an expressive, enthusiastic, emotionally available paramour? Feeling squeamish about stating precisely what you want, need and believe? We even scoured the top 400 most popular Ok Cupid profiles—the hottest people on the site in ten US cities—to see what their profile pics could tell the rest of us about attracting a date.We couldn’t have done any of this without the help of the data maestros at Match and Ok Cupid: Christian Rudder, cofounder and president of Ok Cupid, and Jim Talbott, director of consumer insights at The tips got pretty specific in some cases: It’s 28 percent better for a male to refer to females as women rather than girls, and men who use “whom” get 31 percent more contacts from the opposite sex.

Here's what I've learned about writing a good ad: 1.

Instead of saying you're funny or well educated or caring, demonstrate that.

Try an ad that consists entirely of your favorite movie dialogue or a list of beloved fictional characters.

Props that make you feel soulful, frisky, and fascinating help you make those claims for yourself in your ad. It might sound obvious, but be sure to post a terrific photo of yourself. More to the point: I wanted to attract a man who appreciated subtlety.

If you're not comfortable putting your picture up online, avoid overselling your appearance with dubious claims like "Sharon Stone look-alike." I started my magazine personal with: "Curvy, almond-eyed writer, fit (good shoulders)...." My husband says he was attracted to the soft sell of the description and the quirky confidence of the assertion.




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